Hannah Jade. I'm a panda.
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GUEST: How far is Woodbury Common?
CONCIERGE: It’s about an hour and a half away.
GUEST: (smirks) Not the way I drive. (winks, walks away)
CONCIERGE: (endless orgasm)
(A guest calls.)
GUEST: You made us a reservation at a restaurant. We are here, but the restaurant is not!
CONCIERGE: What restaurant?
GUEST: I don’t know! You wrote down here 51st street and 9th Ave.
CONCIERGE: Ok. And I wrote down the name of the restaurant.
GUEST: VYNL. But we are here and VYNL isn’t.
CONCIERGE: Huh? What do you see?
GUEST: Some restaurants and stuff, but not VYNL!
CONCIERGE: Do you see street signs?
GUEST: Yeah! 51st street.
CONCIERGE: And what’s the avenue?
GUEST: 8th! VYNL isn’t here!
CONCIERGE: Right. It’s on 9th. 9th and 51st. You’re on 8th and 51st.
GUEST: So what do I do? Turn left or right?
CONCIERGE: I don’t know which way you’re facing.
GUEST: 9th and 51st!
CONCIERGE: That’s where VYNL is. You are on 8th and 51st. You have to head west.
GUEST: Left or Right?
CONCIERGE: Do you see a cab?
CONCIERGE: Get that cab and tell them 9th and 51st.
oh lordd. I’d just hang up.260 notes